A Few Personal Thoughts and Feelings Surrounding September 11, 2001
Being an Army Brat, living overseas, I was use to the constant threat of terrorism. But since we've been home, I never once thought that it would--or could --happen here. I let my guard down here in the sanctuary of the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. I was shocked to learn that someone dared to enter my home with such malice in mind. My sense of domestic tranquility was shattered. I began rethinking my priorities. I have always heard that you should, "Leave those you love with kind words, you never know if you will have an opportunity to take the harsh ones back." Now I know that is true. I have seen it. I realized that there is no guarantee of a tomorrow and that today, truly was a gift. It seems as if the things that were so important only a short time ago, no longer seem so. My life has changed, and at this time I feel I need to tell those around me about their affect on my life. Writing is the only way I know how.
I started this site so many years ago because of my youngest son, who seemed to have some developmental problems. It was named because I was a mother, and that was important to me. The way that I saw it, there was nothing greater than A Mother's Love. Being a mother was my job, and all I knew. I took great pride in who my children were and where they were going in life. They strayed, they had their problems. Life has not always been easy, and sometimes they've been without. But they are loved, every day of their lives. My children were my life. But as they grow and arrive at their own lives, my priorities changed and my life and my site strayed away from them and the things that mean the most to me. September 11th brought me back to that place. As I watched planes crashing into buildings, I wanted to gather my family near. I wanted to hold them and never let them go. But most of all, I wanted them to have no doubts about who they are to me if my eyes never see another tomorrow...I want you to know how important they were in my life.
I want to tell those whom I love and those who love me, how grateful I am to them:
To a Mother and Father who raised me with love and morals. Who were always there with open arms, no matter what mistakes I made. Who worked so hard so that my sisters and I could have everything that we needed. I thank you for the clothes--some-hand made with love. For the bicycles and the baby dolls. For the lectures and the hugs and for teaching me to drive. I thank you for making our house a home, no matter where in the world we were. I've really made my share of mistakes, I know I've disappointed you, more than once. I apologize for that--and for the hole in the garage, for coming in late and not keeping my room clean and painting it pink. If I have one wish, it would be to erase all the disappointment that I caused . So that all you could see in me was the daughter that you raised--so well...
I wish to thank my two sisters, I love very much. I don't get to see them as often as I wish. They are both older than I. And so much more wiser. I admire them both so much for who they are and what they have become. I'm Proud of the families that they both have made. I don't think that I've told them that I wouldn't be who I am, if they weren't who they were. Thanks to you for the fights that came to blows and for the laughter that came to tears. For sitting up with me, or at least the baby, during sleepless nights. For caring for me and crying with me. For taking me in when I felt I needed refuge. Thank you for the harsh words-- as well as the kind. Thank you for trusting me with your secrets, thank you for being my best friends...through thick and thin. If I had a wish for both of you, I would wish that we could go back and be children again, with the foresight of what we know now.
For seven years I have made a life with Brandon. We have two beautiful children together, and he has helped raise my oldest son since he was two. We've had --many-- problems. We've not always dealt with what life was dealing out--in the best way. We've both said things that we shouldn't have. But I know that no matter what happens, when I look back, you will be standing there, waiting. I want to thank you for loving me, and living with me. For holding me when I cried and for letting me hold you when you cried. For understanding me when I yelled and on occation--putting me back in my place when arrogance overtook me... Thanks for not leaving me alone when I thought that's what I needed. Thanks for sharing in the birth of our children. It seems like we are so different, you and I. We are two halves of two separate worlds. Somehow, though, we have come together to make a world of our own. And If I had a wish for you...it would be that you could see directly into my heart, so that you would never doubt my love for you.
There are three beautiful children in my life. I love them all with all of my heart and soul. Until I had them, I never really knew what it meant, that you would give your life for someone. I didn't know that it was possible to hurt for someone else. I didn't know that sadness in your child's eyes could bring pain into your heart. I didn't know that their accomplishments could make YOU feel so proud. I want to thank them for making me whole. For all the joys and pains I have felt with them. I thank them for loving me-- and not. For giving me the will to get up in the mornings and to stand up when I felt like lying down. I thank all three of you for the wonderful memories that shall forever play in my head. For the words said only as children could say them and a mother could understand. I thank you for the sticky hugs and the chocolate covered kisses. For the endless piles of school papers, for the warrior village in the driveway, for the lovely hairdo's and the grasshoppers and the frogs. I want to tell you, too, I forgive you for the slamming doors, the broken glasses, the hand prints on the walls-- and the grasshoppers and frogs. I forgive you for saying hurtful things I know you didn't mean, and for the things you thought, but never said. My one wish for you, mes petite chox , is --that some day when you are grown, during some conversation you will utter the words..."My mom wasn't perfect, but she loved us all so much and she did the very best that she could..." and know that those words are true.
Now, all that being said...
I'd like to take a few minutes to tell you a little about the town in which I live. It is nestled along the banks of the Tennessee River in North Central Alabama. I live in the type of town where everyone knows you, and what you've done!
There's a store with a park bench out front, where the elders gather on hot sunny days and talk about the heat and the price of gas and wave as you pass by...
On Saturday afternoons, people still talk about "goin' to town." Even though town seems to be coming this way.
Sundays, here, are still the Lord's Day. There always seems to be a pot luck and or a singing to lift the wilting souls in town, and for those most in need, there always seems as though helping hands seem to find them.
There's an unspoken law that you must wave when you pass folks on the street, even if you have no idea who they are. Chances are that they will see someone you know and tell them you didn't wave.
I love the area, but being a city girl, it has taken quite a bit of getting use to!
Valhermoso Springs is very rich with Indian heritage. Families here boast of their Indian roots and like preserving it's mystique. Names of Places and children still echo Indian sounding names like Valhermoso and Cotaco, and boast of battles, real or otherwise, won and lost on the Banks Tennessee River and around Fort Cotaco.
After heavy rains, you can walk along the banks of the Tennessee River and pick up arrow heads and old pottery. (However illegal it might be.) Even the youngest of children here, are trained early to walk with their heads down, not to miss a thing.
You can read more about Valhermoso Springs, and Cotaco in The Legend of Cotaco.
In addition to learning about my new surroundings, I love collecting angels. Any shape or form. They bring me comfort to surround my family and myself with them. Poems, pictures, candle holders, anything and everything. With the loss of my niece in July of '97, I am particularly fond of cherubs and angel children. Because they remind me that she is close and there is something better that waits for us some day.
I am also a truck drivers wife. My husband began driving in February of '97. He really enjoys it, and although I complain a lot, I really enjoy it too. My three children take up most of my time while he is gone. We really appreciate what he does for us. It has given us a new perspective on life, living and planning ahead!
With what little free time that I have, I really enjoy making graphics, like these, with PaintshopPro and PictureIt! 2000, I, someday, hope to create pages that might inspire someone to return and/or send to a friend!
Please take a look at my other pages, have a glass of tea with my sister At Home in Alabama, and check out a few of my favorite links. Please remember to sign my Guest Book!
A few of my favorite links!
Angels Among Us | A Letter to Brittany | A Home for Brandon | On Behalf of a Grateful Nation | A Mother's Humor | The Legend of Cotaco | Web Rings | My Awards
The fine print:
I have not knowingly violated any copyright laws. To the best of my knowledge, all graphics I have used are of my own making or are properly represented. Please do not take any graphics from my pages without first asking permission. If there are any violations, please contact me and the appropriate actions will be taken!
Copyright: kerbran. All graphics, except otherwise noted, are the sole property of kerbran, or KeKe & KC and should not be used with out their expressed, written consent.
Monday, October 23, 2000 09:10:42 AM